I Hope You Don't Mind

"It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide I don't have much money, but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live. / If I was a sculptor, but then again, no Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do My gift is my song and this one's for you. / And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple, but now that it's done I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world."

My MP3 player has a fairly eclectic mix of songs. Sometimes I want to be revved up, sometimes I want to be taken back in time, and sometimes I want to hear my feelings summed up by a great lyricist. "Your Song" by Elton John fulfills a favorite "song duty" of mine, and it is beautiful. This song is just so genuine and sweet. In a very simple, honest and raw way, the person singing confesses that they may not have everything to offer, but they want to extend the best they possibly can.

This song makes me think of the immeasurable things in life and how they are a clear and effective representation of what I like to create, in being the gift I give that I think I might be lacking if I were the gift myself. I am for you. You know who you are. Love, Sharon

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With the Christmas season upon us, I begin both anticipating and dreading the eve and day of. The lead-up parties: El Gato's party, Taj & gifts with the ladies and Holiday music @ Yavapai, are going to be exciting, yes! In either case, the anxiety I feel as these approach later in the week have far less to do with the festivities themselves as it does with the people who will actually be attending them. I'm holding my breath to push through another holiday season as best as I can. Because no matter how "spiritual" or world-travelled I think I may be, or how much Real Love I have, there's something about Christmas that reduces me.

I am not spelling this out because something needs to be fixed. While I have tons of friends and family in my life that "love me like crazy," no one is exactly like me or in the same shoes on Christmas day. I feel like I'm cracked from hitting the sides too hard with my spoon and anger or chipped from being dropped to go run towards a loved one in need. I am uniquely my own. The holiday kind of turns this unique and celebrated aspect around and I'm stubborn in shifting my perspective, wishing to not see the beauty of these "flaws."

Your "story" is likely very different from mine. But perhaps it offers something useful to people reading this who are on the brink of changing their own lives. Fundamental to all our stories is that our Christmas's are imagined before they come into being. I hope you image something beautiful coming forth in yours, with no one forcing you to feel anything if you don't want to. If we make the best of this time acting on the rise to our reaction, perhaps history will call it the start of a renaissance.

The amazing thing about December is that no matter how many festivities you're set up to attend, it’s designed so that, regardless of the combination the people always go together — chips, cracks and all things we've yet to learn to make ourselves. Love, Sharon

Life Lately

I've been playing with mosaics a lot and here is one from my Charlottenlund life lately. The cool air has really crept in on me today and I think it may soon be time to head towards the sea at least for one last swim.

Enjoy your weekend! Love, Sharon

Beach Life in Charlottenlund, Denmark

I have been very fortunate with the weather so far, although I'm starting to feel fall coming as of yesterday when the winds, surprise bursts of rain, and lower temperatures hit Charlottenlund.

Here are a few impressions from my days spent at Charlottenlund Beach and the Sobad. I go there on foot from my home exchange flat/apartment, which is only about a 20 minute walk and I even get to pass through the woods.

I swim in the sea, I eat a snack sometimes and play solitary (cards) while drinking "take-away" coffee. I get sunburned as if I was a teenager again; I walk on the beach and look for things to collect. If I am feeling really beside myself, I'll take a nap in the shadow under my towel.

This is what life has been about for the past week and I can't complain. Love, Sharon



1. 22_degrees_c, 2. sea_lapping_rocks, 3. sobad_dockshape, 4. beach_snack, 5. view_out, 6. sobad_entrance, 7. charlott_fort, 8. circus_atbeach, 9. tricolor_feather

How's the ranch life?

This is the question I’ve been getting a lot lately. I’m not totally sure how to answer that question because I haven’t solidly wrapped my head around the fact that I’M WORKING AT A RANCH (and this has been a dream of mine since the urge to be with horses took hold in January). This is mostly my fault because I think my little stressed self had a hard time believing that someone would actually hire me. My life has not been the easiest for a lot of years so I just didn’t spend much time thinking about what life would be like after I started this job, just in case something happened to curtail it.

When I'm in a stall or paddock, I think about how much I’ve fought the waves of change. How I haven’t been as authentic as a could have been, and how I’ve been so timid with expressing who I am. I’m not very proud of this last year of my life, I feel like in many ways I’ve failed. There have been a few bright and shining moments where my head finally surfaced above the clouds and I actually got to SEE what I have and what I’m living, but many, many of them have been marked by fear.

So here’s what I’m learning now: the lesson that I have to learn over and over and over again. Surrender. I will never be able to control every aspect of my life. I may never know what the next six steps are. I may never know what’s next. But I am choosing to believe that whatever’s next, it will be OK. I have 50 years to tell me that whatever comes, I will BE OK. In the next month I will likely be sleeping out in the wildness with a herd of beloved horses or traveling to another country. I don’t know which pasture and if I for sure will be moving the herd, but I’m choosing to believe that whatever it is, that’s the place I'm suppose to be in. I’m choosing to remember that my life has always been orchestrated in ways more beautiful than I could ever have planned myself. I’m choosing to stop fighting the waves.

So anyway, how’s the ranch life? Right now I’m ENVELOPED IN THIS AWESOME ATMOSPHERE. I think it’s good. I keep looking at each horse I feed or water, across the stall, or across the paddock and I feel so incredibly thankful. I get to spend the rest of my life doing something like this. Most horses are incredibly patient with me and I think back to what I wished for, 4 years ago, when I was taking all of those blind steps forward, not knowing where I was going. I think back to those times when the hope of what could be in the future was all that got me through. And I realize that those things I hoped for, those things that I wanted deep in my bones, THOSE are the things I got. It’s like someone knew me and made it all happen. Love, Sharon

Drawing a Parallel

I've been thinking a lot lately about the parallels between tango and yoga, tango and family relationships, tango and business management, and even tango and love making! When it comes right down to it, observing and reacting in the moment takes top priority. I guess I don't understand the part of human nature that prompts us to point out the flaws of others: to have expectations and imagined scenarios, rather than responding to what is and immediately adapting to the changing needs of our partners, our loved ones, our co-workers, and of ourselves. I think it becomes even harder when leader and follower techniques come into play. I know a lot of us go into relationships, in general, totally naive to the natural forces we are sending to and receiving from each other. Are we speaking and listening to the other person in that moment? Or are we thinking things should be a certain way "during the dance" and question others' creative desires, that they'll take the wrong step or do it differently than we would, and do not trust them-?

I know personally, I went into my first couple tango/partner dance lessons with a very strong desire for self expression and maybe even to achieve that ideal dance. How I regret I passed judgement on others in the class for their lack of expression "the know how" -being what I thought a man, a leader, should express physically and verbally. I was impatient and then would probably pass more judgement at the non-verbal level as well, unless I caught myself. I think many times we judge what we don't understand. And I think that once I entered the situation where I needed to heighten my senses to touch and hearing (and ironically I already consider myself highly sensitive to touch, pungent conversation, and loud noises) I began to understand remarkably the parallels as they run through other areas of life and I love it. The steps and fancy legwork became secondary almost.

I still believe that there are absolutes, there are right and wrong moves (in dance and in life), but I think many times, we make our absolutes too broad. Unless you see someone crossing that absolute line, we should have more faith in our partner's (and in dance, in the lead's) ability to do their job, to dance their own way. This doesn't mean I don't have standards, I hold many of them. But I guess I'm trying to get to the point where I will think long and hard before holding anyone but myself up to those standards. Ahem.
Until next time... :-) Sharon Marzonie